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04 August 2004 @ 11:25 am
theory...  
so heres a theory...

"Men are more sentimental then women."

before anyone jumps in here, let me explain what i mean.
it has to do with emotional stability/understanding and having tried and true system in place...

most men in our society grow up believing they must 'surpress' or 'resist' their emotions. tho whole 'male BS' that happens (being 'manly'). those that learn otherwise at least understand that emotions are important and must be dealt with. what this ends up generating is a whole bunch of men who are either 'supressants' or 'sensitives'.

In the case of 'suppressants', the more you ignore a thing, the more vulnerable you become to it. hence those who suppress often have little or no defense to strong emtions (esp. love and such) that they tend to overreact, to over-think, and to ultimately dwell too much when such things happen.

The sensitives, however, unlike women, they dont have generations of other 'men' to support this belief and have a process/system to deal with issues (i.e. the usage of group thearapy as a social norm- women's circles, gossip circles. the basic methods women tend to use other women as a means to deal with/handle stress etc). hence such men who are 'sensitive' and learn to 'deal with emotions' are often left on thier own to figure out how to keep things in balance. seeing how difficult that is, most men of this type end up being too sensitive... (especially since there is a propensity to move in extreme directions cause its easier) Hence they too end up, overreacting, over-thinking, and dwelling too much when strong emotions (such as love etc) arise.


thankfully, as more sensitive arise, and a stronger community group setting and understanding occurs, a system will eventually be put into place (or grow into place) which will have all the controls and balances necessary for children of the future to lean against. in short, we are at the beginning of a small yet very important revolution...


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quick update -

1. its interesting to note that the two cases are extremes... invariably extremes tend to end up the same
2. yes there are exceptions to the rule. but you will find that those sensitives who are balanced often find some external system to help them.. ie. it becomes their system (some systems are religious others philosophical)
3. unfortunately for the suppressants the only road to true stability is to become a 'balanced' sensitive whether by finding a system that leads them there or by some other means (this would mean they must confront emtoions and whatnot)
 
 
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Burlapen: smokingiscari0t on August 4th, 2004 08:46 am (UTC)
i guess the thing that gets me is that you're not really saying anything at all about men or women, you're merely talking about people raised as men vs. people raised as women in our society. nothing that you've mentioned has anything to do with actual physicality, but merely social programming. correct?


-special-
Braxanabraxana on August 4th, 2004 08:52 am (UTC)
this this case, correct.
there are certainly physical and physiological as well as psychological differences but this particular case is a human issue..:>
Laniaznqt1 on August 4th, 2004 12:29 pm (UTC)
:nods: I agree with your theory. As I think about it a little more, I believe most of my male friends proves your theory.
gtbuddhagtbuddha on August 5th, 2004 07:15 am (UTC)
I think the main issue in both cases is that these people just dont have any outlets for their emotions, so they get bottled up. In the case of the suppressive, they have no outlet and internalize it. The sensitive has no outlet and externalizes it. It applies, not only for emotions such as love, but just stress in general. Stress in the workplace for example. Typically, people deal with this stress by venting out their stress to others, thereby having somewhat of a release. You touched upon this with the female gossip groups etc. The problem then is not that of sensitives or insensitives, but becomes that of the social stereotypes; Men are strong and able to handle their emotions. Women are nurturing, emotional beings. This is an extremely hard stereotype to overcome because it is entrained into almost every aspect of our culture and physiology. Stress of any kind will build up and eventually cause some sort of failure unless it is released. Its a fact of physics, nature, life. Everything has its breaking point.
aluviel on March 2nd, 2005 05:54 pm (UTC)
WOAH I knew Asain men were very intelligent but this blows my mind....

The statement you made:
"hence such men who are 'sensitive' and learn to 'deal with emotions' are often left on thier own to figure out how to keep things in balance. seeing how difficult that is, most men of this type end up being too sensitive..."

Is very true.. you know how much I get on here and gripe about my wierdo boyfriend... Well I just called him up read this.

The purpose for that was a question and a test...

1. First thing he said was ha ha well you can dump me now..
2. He said was yeap that is me allright..Braxana has it right on the button.

So to prove this I will give you some background on him..

He was brought up in the army and was a seargent.. because of the unbalance of over machoisim, he has become a little boy again at home. This proves your theary is true and correct. If i get on his case for anything he get mad storms off or threatens to jump on a bus and leave.. (talk about overreacting) So then I end up (bieng the Libra I am) apologising for getting mad and then he apologises for irritating me..

Question is... all the cooking cleaning and car fixing he does.. is it worth putting up with that? He has I have to say gotten alot better since reading the old manual "Men are from Mars blah blah"

I have the money to have a garage fix my cars and I an cook and clean for myself.. But like Dr. Phil says... "You have to earn your way out of relationship" I tend to try every last possible soloution before calling it quits. My sister on the other hand has been married 6 times over and dumps someone the minute they even look at her wrong..

Maybe I feel justified in working things out because I am paranoid and dont want to be like her? I do happen to be proud that I get along with people and make lasting friendships and very long relationships.

But yes you are very true and correct and I hope this helped prove it.

Now before I get swooned away by your prowess, I will stop reading your memories for today ;)